and let me add:

that I’m not going to be driving any of the girls down, although I’ll be taking my car.  I don’t want the legal hassles, yet I want to be able to escape if needed.  Win-win.

The Amy Saga (prelude included)…plus a poker tidbit or 2

What is the Amy saga, you ask?  Well, let me explain the back story by digging up a thread on a message board about the very subject.  Retyping seems redundant and I’m lazy:

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I coach soccer this upcoming fall for a middle school. My team is comprised of 7th and 8th graders, and is a “feeder program” for the varsity team. This team is coached by Amy. Amy is…not a great coach. She is a poor communicator and lacks expertise in strategy. To top it off, she is very paranoid and believes everyone is out to get her. She’s easily threatened, and dislikes explaining herself or answering questions asked by her players, for fear that she’ll look bad. She gets pissy and accuse them of being difficult or trying to make her look stupid. As a result, the team tends to just do their own thing. They seem to like me, and I tend to give them actual advice and talk to them as a person. Amy, as a result, feels like I’m gunning for her position. It doesn’t help that the players have actually asked me to take over (as if it’s up to me), but it’s not my intent.Last year was my 2nd year at the school and I went over to the sidelines of the varsity game since my team’s practice had ended. The way I approach varsity games, is that I mill around the sidelines, say hi to the players that greet me, and try to get a feel for the game. If I see something, I try to point it out to Amy, so that she can later repeat it to her players. Sometimes she gives me credit for it, but it isn’t like it bothers me if she doesn’t. The players are smarter than that. Up until that point, I had always been careful not to indulge them when they mentioned how they disliked Amy and would rather I coach them. I would thank them for the compliment, but let them know I wasn’t participating in the conversation.In this particular game, I noticed something wrong on the field. The star player, Amanda, was fighting with the ball in the offensive zone, on the left of the field. The bulk of her teammates in the same zone were all on the right side of the goal. There was one player in front of the goal, and the rest of the players on the team were located around the half line or further back. There was absolutely nobody directly behind her for support. I pointed this out as a problem, as the girl who should have been there was in front of the goal. Amy let me know somewhat rudely that that was by design. I shrugged it off, and stepped away. I confided my thoughts to the “unofficial” assistant coach (not paid…players love her and she shows up when she could), and she laughed at me thinking it was a good idea to try saying anything. She agreed with me, but knew Amy well.After the game, Amy walked near me and tried to explain her reasoning. Amanda was the best player, and she could get free to send the ball across. If most of the team was there, it’d be easier to get a goal. My response was that she’s just one player, and she was being double teamed. She was too deep to do anything but go backwards, and she had nobody to pass it to. She didn’t have a path to cross the ball, and having all her teammates in one little area made them really easy to defend for the other team. Plus, if she lost the ball, there was a jail-break oppurtunity if the team had any speed to go the opposite direction. Amy just got quiet, and I thought that was the end of it. Later that evening, I got a phone call:

Amy: Hey, how are you?

Me: Fine, and yourself? (I have a feeling I know what’s coming…)

Amy: Good…hey about today…I just think it’d be best if you didn’t come over to the bench area during our games. I mean, i’d still like you to come to the games and give your input. I mean, you have good points, you see things well, and you’re a better strategist than I am. It’s just…a lot to handle. It’s kind of overwhelming.

Me: … Really.

Her: Yeah, I mean, I want you to watch and look for things, but it’d be easier if you told me after the game what we need to watch for.

(Now, tell me if this makes ANY sense. She admitted I know what I’m talking about, say and do the right things, yet doesn’t want me to have any influence on the game in progress. What good am I going to do, here?)

Me: Amy, I’m not trying to “overwhelm” you. I see things on the field that need to be seen, and I point them out to you. This is what I do. This is what I’ve always done. I’m there to help the game in progress.

Her: I know, it’s just that I think it’d be best if you helped after the game, not during.

Me: …Hey, if YOU think that’s best.

Her: … (she knows I’m pissed) Well, ok then. Have a good night.

Me: Bye.

Now this all happened a while ago, and it’s never really been brought back up between us. Since then, I’ve played against her in pick-up games, and even knocked her down a few times. Recently, she’s mentioned that she’s doing a preseason team camp out at a ski resort that’s 4 hours away. Last year, I went there, but for her brother’s team. He knew I worked with goalies as well as general coaching, and hired me to train his goalies. Amy was going to bring her team to combine with his team. To help cover the cost, she has her team do a mini-camp for younger kids. Last year they did it for 2 weeks. This year? 3. Logic says that means more money will be earned, and possibly more will go towards expenses. It seems, however, that less money is going towards expenses. Amy mentioned at the meeting for new players (I was present) that we’d all be heading down seperately and we’d all carpool. She thought maybe I could go down and take a few of the girls in my car.

… First off, I still hadn’t given her answer to if I was going or not. I’m going to let her know that I’ll help out this season, but only if I can be sure that sideline banishment bullshit won’t happen again. I’m there for the players, and I resent being asked to only help out Amy when she thinks nobody will notice. I still haven’t figured out a good way to bring it up, though. Second, I have a slight problem with driving someone else’s kids that far. I don’t want to be responsible for them if I’m in a fender-bender. To me, taking a bus would be smart from a legal AND resposible standpoint, and I’d imagine the extra money would help that cause.

After the game, I mentioned something about this problem to a parent. This woman knows exactly what all went on with Amy and I last year, and supports me. She’s also great at keeping her mouth shut, so I can speak to her a little more candidly. She informed me that Amy considers these summer camps her “summer job.” Even though the girls vote on what they do, she refuses to disclose financial info, even to the team treasurer, who happens to be this parent’s daughter. She tried asking Amy about finances and if more could be put towards lessening the cost per player, and she ended up in tears after Amy rudely shot her down.

Here’s the crux – to me, it seems really wrong, morally and possibly legally, to do what Amy’s doing. She’s heavily suggesting that these girls go on this camp, and while this means it’s not quite mandatory, the girls that don’t wind up on her shit list. She doesn’t provide quality instruction, and is probably counting on me to help with that aspect…and she never offered what kickback, if any, I’d receive…not that it’s the point. She’s representing the school, yet the school isn’t charging nor receiving any funds. They presumably go in her pocket and she isn’t really shy about that fact. She’s collecting more $$, and expecting the team to do more as far as expenses. It just seems wrong, although I’m not sure if it is in the legal standpoint.

I advised this parent to go to the athletic director in person along with a few other parents, and explain these points. I can’t for a variety of reasons, but they can. (it looks bad on my part to openly spat with a coach, and she technically helps decide whether I get to come back next year or not) I hate it, and I hate that the kids have to deal with crap like this, but I can’t very well campaign openly to boot Amy’s ass. I hate how she provides little instruction, and coerces them into filling her checking account. I have yet to tell her what I plan on doing as far as the camp is concerned, as I want to see how this all pans out.

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After making this post, I fielded feedback on how I should approach this situation.  After considering all the advice, I brought it up during a phone call that I wanted to discuss the next season – specifically, my “role.”  She didn’t seem pleased, and said she would have to discuss it later.  She called me back a week ago (right after injuring my ankle), and we hashed it out.  Here is the recap, taken from an email reply I had made earlier to someone who knew of the situation:

Long story, short – I explained that I was there to help and that I had a vested interest in seeing the team do well.  Not to mention that 1/3 of the team will have been formerly coached by me…she said it wasn’t personal, and I told her that being “banished” from the sidelines was anything BUT impersonal to me.  She soon got flustered during the conversation, so I had to explain her point of view for her.  For example:

me:  Is it that you don’t trust me to pull one of your players to the side and point something out?

her:  No, it’s not..I mean..I certainly “trust” you, it’s that…um…how do I uh…I just felt like you…um…

me: … You thought that I might be undermining your authority.

her:  well, yes…um.. that’s probably a good way to…yeah.

It went on, but you get the idea.  Her main thing was that she wanted to appear to be in charge, and that she wasn’t able to process a lot of info at the same time.  Sorry, but that’s coaching – you get 5 things tossed at you at the same time.  Thing is, she doesn’t HAVE to deal with that, if she delegates and uses her assistants.  Kinda like how I was more than happy to let you handle the subbing/shift timing during indoor.  I’m not stupid enough to think I can easily do everything at once.  She doesn’t get that, though.  She thinks delegation is a sign of weakness, even though she still can’t handle everything.  She just chooses to ignore certain things to make her job easier…such as anything her players try to say.  Problem solved?  I once again told her I wasn’t trying to overwhelm her, but I can’t just sit back and not say anything when I see something wrong. 

I then explained that my friend Parker and I used to coach together.  95% of the time, we were in total agreement.  That 5%, though?  It would usually involve one of us with our arms crossed telling the other, “Ok, fine.  Go for it.  I think it’s wrong, but we’ll try it.”  In a case of a tie, whoever was the “head” coach would make that final decision.  It’s normal when coaches don’t totally agree, but it’s good to get different points of view.  She then tried to explain that I shouldn’t have questioned her authority in front of her players.  This is where my weird memory came into play.  I can’t always remember what I ate last night, but sometimes certain things stand out.  I replied:

“Well, I agree that we shouldn’t argue in front of the players.  That’s why I came up to you while you were standing about 4 feet off the left side of the bench, and went on your left side to ask why Sharbaugh had no support behind her.  You then turned and said that Audrey was where you told her to be, and that was your design.  I then put my hands up, said, ‘ok’ and let it drop.  AFTER the game, you continued the discussion by coming up to me and saying, ‘Hey…sorry for earlier…’ and I thought it was a good time to explain why I felt the way I did.  See, I don’t say things without knowing exactly why I feel that way.”

she tried to question whether it happened like this and I continued:

“No, we didn’t discuss it in-depth by the bench, and I’d never hassle you about it there.  You came up to me as we were walking towards the locker room.  you know, by the area beside the school where the huge mud puddle is.”

We continued on, and I assured her that I would only say something when I knew for sure that I was right.  I wouldn’t comment on things that might be formation-oriented, since I wasn’t totally comfortable with the defense she now runs.  If I did see something common-sense oriented, though, I would speak up.  She originally wanted to “limit” my involvement to just night games, but I explained that before my “banishment” (she made a little squeaking noise everytime I said it) that I was only able to make 2-3 games, anyhow.  I said that I wanted to know that if my practice ended, I could walk over to the bench area of her team and check things out.  Besides, we both know that you guys only had like 2 evening games at home, so there was no way I was going to accept that.  She agreed.  While I was at it, I also explained that I wanted her assurance that I could feel free to say what I thought, and not have to be worried about a repeat of last season.  She agreed that I wouldn’t be kicked off the sidelines for speaking up, as long as I didn’t fight with her in front of the players.  I don’t do that anyways, so no problem.  I then told her I’d probably go to the camp, although my ankle is still a question mark.  

So basically, the only restriction on me is that I talk to her before speaking to one of her players during a game…although I have free reign to speak to a goalie, since she said that she’s “clueless” as far as goalies go.  Several times during the conversation I was tempted to tell her off and concentrate on my team, but I thought that’d be counter-productive.  I’m reasonably happy with how things turned out. 

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So that’s how things stand for now – we’ll see if things change during the season.  For the record, I hate this bullshit, but I feel like I’m forced to play the game, so why not play to win?

Speaking of playing to win – an update on poker.  For the last few days, I have hardly won anything on Full Tilt, but the weeks before it have more than made up for it.  Sure, I lost about $20- in 2 days, but my account had been at $250 just a couple weeks ago.  Now?  $346.  I was happier with $366, but I can’t complain.  I’ve also started winning a bit on Poker Stars again, and finished 2nd in an Omaha Hi-low tournament for about $30.  Not bad for a $1 entry fee.  Before that, I wasn’t doing so well building a bankroll there.  The dollar games are just a fucking grind, and it seems impossible to beat them consistantly, but I’m managing slowly.  Here’s a sharkscope graph of my progress on the 2 sites:

   (click to enlarge)

I don’t have a ton of games played on Stars, so that tends to make the graph a bit more drastic.  I’m more proud of my progress on Tilt, as that’s over a much longer period of time.  Poker is a bitch at times, kinda like my last few games on Tilt, but that’s how short-term variance is.  You can go through a period where you can’t win a damn thing, and then hit a span like I did where you cash in almost every game you play for over 2 weeks.  To get off a bad streak, i usually just switch games and/or sites.  Since I’m running badly on Omaha hi-low on FT, I’m playing a bit more no-limit hold’em on Stars.  It helps keep things fresh.  Keep in mind that the graphs above don’t account for ring (cash) games or tournaments – just sit n’ goes.

On a final note, it looks like I’m heading to Vegas in August.  I’m hoping I can figure out my issues with limit hold’em cash games (lost a buy-in or 2 last night) before I get there, since I’m thinking that’s what I’ll be playing when I get there most of the time.  I have time to work on it, though.