PT’s home and role reversal (Bonus story: the most disturbing IRC convo EVER)

Well, PT got released today.  He’s pretty weak and his skin color isn’t quite right, but the hospital peeps are hoping that the time at home does him some good as far as peace of mind.  Getting him up the steps to his apartment was a challenge, as I have one good leg, but I somehow managed. 

 

It seems that part of the reason why he went back to the hospital in the first place is because his medications weren’t being taken correctly.  He was given all the stuff along with a schedule, but due to his shitty sleep schedule and tendency to sleep through pill time, he wasn’t taking them when needed.  Now it falls mostly to me (With DJ on weekends) to make sure that he takes the correct pill at the correct time.  I hate this.  How can I say this without sounding like a bad person?

Ok, I probably can’t.  It’s just difficult for me to handle that I’m responsible for keeping another adult alive.  Especially one that I looked at as the older brother I never had.  I’m trying to toe that line between giving him dignity and being sure that he’s doing what needs to be done, but it’s not easy.  I have to make sure he takes his meds that are scheduled at all hours of the day, force him to eat something, and move around to help get some energy/muscle back.  I feel like I’m a new dad and just adopted a 41 yr old kid.  I know it’s frustrating for him and I try not to make him feel worse about it, but I don’t want it to always be like this.  I’m hoping that at some pointhe’ll recover enough to be able to do these things that need done to keep him well, but I’m not sure I can see far enough into the future to know when that’ll be.

 

Ok, enough emo bullshit.  Here’s an excerpt from an IRC conversation a few years back.  I REALLY wish I had been in on this topic, but wasn’t.  It involves people from a message board that I still frequent, so I knew/know all of those involved.  It’s about a guy nicknamed “Vesper,” who goes by the name “Threepercent” during this conversation.  It’s about him and his former job working in a mortuary.  The 6th line down kicks off the chat:

 

[21:27] *** Now talking in #wildfire
[21:27] *** Topic is ‘Welcome to The Asylum chat.’
[21:27] *** Set by GA on Fri Jul 25 21:51:44
[21:27] <Durin> Hey
[21:27] <Fenster> Hey
[21:27] <Durin> Vesper fucks dead people.
[21:28] <Durin> In case you didn’t hear
[21:28] <Fenster> Hehe
[21:28] <Fenster> I gotta sig you
[21:29] <Durin> lol
[21:31] <Vhp> ewwww
[21:31] *** Joins: Threepercent
[21:31] *** Vhp is now known as Ninety-SevenPerce
[21:31] <Ninety-SevenPerce> damn
[21:31] *** Ninety-SevenPerce is now known as NinetySeven
[21:31] <NinetySeven> Fucking
[21:31] <Threepercent> Past tense, folks… Dang you all to heck
[21:31] <Durin> Heh
[21:31] *** NinetySeven is now known as Ninety7percent
[21:32] <Durin> We’ll get over it
[21:32] <Durin> I… Eventually.
[21:32] <Fenster> Have you the key to the mortuary or something?
[21:32] <Ninety7percent> HE SAID HE WORKED THERE
[21:32] <Durin> Erm, I appear not to be able to type.
[21:32] <Ninety7percent> LEARN TO READ FENSTER
[21:32] <Fenster> :O
[21:32] <Threepercent> No… Worked in a crematorium..
[21:32] <Ninety7percent> He did em, then threw em in the burner
[21:32] <Durin> LOL
[21:32] <Fenster> Ah, burn the evidence
[21:32] *** Ninety7percent is now known as Vhp
[21:33] <Fenster> Well I suppose its a good way to pass a long night shift
[21:33] <Fenster> Give those poor suckers a good sendoff
[21:33] <Threepercent> Place was creepy, kinda had that effect on ya…
[21:33] <Vhp> I’m not sure man chowder can survive crematorium fires
[21:33] <Durin> Okay, I have to ask – you don’t have to answer – but was it intercourse or oral?
[21:33] <Fenster> :O
[21:33] <Vhp> I think oral would be slightly less than fulfilling.
[21:33] <Vhp> USE YOUR TONGUE, WHORE
[21:33] <Durin> I’d think either would be,
[21:33] <Threepercent> Hmm, how do you answer this, without shooting myself in the head..
[21:33] <Durin> LOL
[21:34] <Durin> No answer is acceptable
[21:34] <Threepercent> Look, it all started innocently enough…
[21:34] *** Joins: Maera
[21:34] <Fenster> Well, you know
[21:34] <Vhp> GOOD TIMING MA
[21:34] <Maera> hello!
[21:34] <Durin> LOL
[21:34] <Vhp> Vesper is telling us the corpse sex story
[21:34] <Threepercent> First, curious as to what it looks like, on a dead person..
[21:34] <Fenster> At Vesper’s age, he’s been married a while.
[21:34] <Fenster> He was probably getting better sex at home than at work.
[21:34] <Durin> What “it”?
[21:34] <Threepercent> Yeah, over ten years..
[21:34] <Threepercent> The crotch..
[21:34] <Durin> Ah
[21:35] <Threepercent> And chest
[21:35] <Vhp> on a.. chick.. right?
[21:35] <Threepercent> So… Yeah
[21:35] <Durin> LOL
[21:35] <Threepercent> Chick
[21:35] <Vhp> okay
[21:35] <Vhp> Does it look the same?
[21:35] <Threepercent> So, then, once you have seen it, and there ain’t no one else around, you wonder what it feels like
[21:35] <Threepercent> Yeah, pretty much, after it is cleaned up.
[21:35] <Threepercent> So you touch it… No one is looking, and they surely don’t care..
[21:35] <Vhp> Were they like, old ladies?
[21:35] <Threepercent> Naw, young and middle aged.
[21:36] <Vhp> whew.
[21:36] <Threepercent> So, then… once you have felt it with your hand, you wonder if it is damp? or Dry..
[21:36] <Threepercent> Dry, btw..
[21:36] <Durin> …
[21:36] <Vhp> SICK
[21:37] <Threepercent> …
[21:37] <Vhp> So you went straight for the backside?
[21:37] <Durin> Was this during your satanic stage?
[21:37] <Threepercent> So, then, you wonder, is it rigormortis like everything else? Or flexible..
[21:37] <Threepercent> No backside…
[21:37] <Vhp> Dude, wouldn’t that cause, like, chafing?
[21:37] <Threepercent> I will get to that..
[21:37] <Vhp> oh Lord
[21:38] <Threepercent> Well, it actually doesn’t rigor up…
[21:38] <Durin> my thoughts exactly Vhp
[21:38] *** Joins: sushi|went_out
[21:38] <Vhp> Oh no – virgin ears.
[21:38] *** sushi|went_out is now known as sushi
[21:38] <Threepercent> Once you find out that it can be inserted into… why not?
[21:39] <Vhp> Wow, that’d be quite disturbing to enter the conversation at this point.
[21:39] <sushi> hi people
[21:39] <Threepercent> So you have to get it wet… So you drop a whole lot of spit on your member…
[21:39] <Threepercent> Hi Sushi
[21:39] <Vhp> LOL
[21:40] <Durin> Sushi, either you have good timng or bad… depends on the way you look at it
[21:40] <Fenster> Nah, I was pasting all this for Sushi. :p
[21:40] <Durin> Ah, okay
[21:40] <Threepercent> The sheer naugtiness of it, makes you spew pretty quick..
[21:41] <Durin> OMG
[21:41] <Vhp> Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[21:41] <Vhp> You mean spew as in “finish” or spew as in puke?
[21:41] <Threepercent> Finish
[21:41] <Vhp> SICK
[21:41] <Threepercent> The puking comes afterwards, once you realize what you have done.
[21:41] <Fenster> >_<
[21:41] <Vhp> So, someone has an urn full of ashes and Vesper juice sitting on their shelf.
[21:41] <Threepercent> The guilt..
[21:41] <Fenster> lol
[21:41] <Threepercent> I cleaned it up, best I could..
[21:42] <Vhp> God damnit, Vesper.
[21:42] <Vhp> You’re going to hell for sure.
[21:42] <Durin> So there was guilt, I mean it wasn’t like you found a new activity at work?
[21:42] <Threepercent> Oh no… Guilt for sure…
[21:42] <Threepercent> Felt awful, for a long time..
[21:42] <Vhp> Did you give the family a call and say you’re sorry?
[21:42] <Vhp> or at least an apology letter?
[21:42] <Threepercent> Um, no..
[21:43] <Vhp> Like, “hey, sorry for deflowering your sister’s corpse?”
[21:43] <Threepercent> I was young, stupid, uninhibited, but not crazy..
[21:43] <Durin> Or “About those ashes of your mother…”
[21:43] <Fenster> naraiko: Eww. Remind me to never meet Vesper IRL
[21:43] <Fenster> Midnight Angel: lol
[21:43] <Fenster> Midnight Angel: don’t die around him either
[21:43] <Fenster>
[21:43] <Vhp> lol
[21:43] <Durin> LOL
[21:43] <Threepercent> Bastages…
[21:44] <Durin> Vesper, you need to write a biography.
[21:44] <Threepercent> It was a mistake.. From my past…
[21:44] <Threepercent> Not much I can do about it now..
[21:44] <Vhp> So, what about all the shit-eating questions?
[21:44] <Threepercent> I would never consider it again..
[21:44] <Threepercent> I dated a chick, who thought the smell of horse shit was a turn on..
[21:44] <Durin> … Oh boy.
[21:45] <Threepercent> Who am I to judge, when it is getting me laid..
[21:45] <Fenster> No more!
[21:45] <Fenster> My poor ears are burning!
[21:45] <Fenster> My sexual drive is gone! :[
[21:45] <Durin> … can’t breath… laughing… too hard…
[21:45] <Vhp> AAAAAAAAH
[21:45] <Threepercent> Kept a big ole box of it under her bed… straw and all..
[21:45] <Vhp> SIIIIIIIIIIIICK
[21:45] <Vhp> AKLSDJLakjdsalhi;vh;;sdv
[21:45] <Vhp> EDWEWWEWEWWWW
[21:45] <Fenster> STOP
[21:45] <Durin> OHHHHHHHHH
[21:45] <Durin> GOD WHY?
[21:45] <Threepercent> Nutty broad… I didn’t care..
[21:46] <Fenster> Umm. Did she ever smear herself in it?
[21:46] <Threepercent> Until the night she wanted me to wear it..
[21:46] <Durin> DAMN VESPER!… I bet you know how to kill a party
[21:46] <Vhp> CHRIST
[21:46] <Vhp> SICK
[21:46] <Vhp> SICK
[21:46] <Threepercent> She laid on top of it… normally..
[21:46] * Vhp vomits.
[21:46] * Fenster vomits.
[21:46] <sushi> i still need to read
[21:46] <Durin> no words. no words
[21:46] <Threepercent> That is how I accidentally tasted it..
[21:47] * Vhp vomits uncontrollably.
[21:47] <Durin> I”M OUT OF HERE!
[21:47] * Fenster shivers.
[21:47] <Durin> somebody keep a log
[21:47] <Fenster> I need a hug.
[21:47] <Fenster> I am
[21:47] <Vhp> haha, look at Elurai’s thread.
[21:47] <Durin> brb…. damn
[21:47] *** Parts: Durin
[21:48] <Threepercent> Like I said, I ain’t proud of it all, but I don’t have to hide it…
[21:49] <Threepercent> Do me a personal favor guys..
[21:49] <Fenster> This log cries for posting.
[21:49] <Threepercent> Don’t post the cadaver part, on the forums, as some of the folks that lurk there, work in the same company I do..
[21:49] <Vhp> Oh shiznit
[21:49] <Vhp> Sick
[21:49] <Threepercent> And know who I am in RL..
[21:49] <Threepercent> I don’t need the headaches..
[21:50] <Fenster> Do you grave rob socially?
[21:50] <Threepercent> No…
[21:51] <Vhp> You should change your board name to “The Undertaker” or something like that.
[21:51] <Threepercent> But I have performed a few rituals on top of them… And had sex on top of a witches grave..
[21:51] <Fenster> lol
[21:51] <Vhp> A witch? Lol.
[21:51] <Vhp> Sorry, I refuse to believe any of that ritual/magic crapola.
[21:52] <Threepercent> Yeah, they encased her in solid concrete, back in the 30’s, because they wanted to ensure she didn’t “rise from the grave”
[21:52] <Threepercent> You don’t have to believe, to believe that I did it…
[21:52] <Vhp> But, wow, big deal. A grave.
[21:52] <Vhp> I don’t think of it as any different than a regular grave
[21:52] <Threepercent> That was how I felt aobut it
[21:52] <Threepercent> er about it
[21:53] <Threepercent> I did it to prove a point, to some local nut cases..
[21:53] <Threepercent> Well, and to freak my girl out..
[21:53] <Fenster> lol
21:53] <Vhp> The girl that was giving you poon atop the grave?
[21:53] <Threepercent> Her nipples seemed just a bit perkier, laying bare chested on that concrete slab..
[21:53] <Threepercent> Yeah.
[21:54] <Vhp> I think you’d fit in at #the_lonely_inn
[21:54] <Threepercent> Why is that?
[21:54] <Vhp> gee
[21:54] <Vhp> <Threepercent> Her nipples seemed just a bit perkier, laying bare chested on that concrete slab..
[21:54] <Threepercent> LOL… Perkier because she was afraid… and turned on, at the same time..
[21:54] <Fenster> Isn’t that the plushies room?
[21:55] <Vhp> Dude
[21:55] <Vhp> I’d just be happy to get laid on a bed by a halfway decent looking chick.
[21:55] <Vhp> And Fenster, I know you’re a virgin
[21:55] <Vhp> No way you’re less than 90% pure
[21:56] <Threepercent> I ain’t all that good looking, but I have been around… Had some pretty nice looking ladies too..
[21:56] <Maera> vhp, fenster admitted doing a big girl. no way you’d admit that unless you did it
[21:56] <Vhp> Oh, Sorry Fenster. I forgot that shitting on yourself was one of the questions.
[21:56] <Threepercent> Nothing wrong with big women…
[21:56] <Vhp> Yes there is.
[21:56] <Vhp> They’ll crush me.
21:56] <Threepercent> They tend to extremely into it too..
[21:57] <sushi> i cant catch up to you guys lol
[21:57] <Threepercent> So you ride her… They typically can take quite the pounding..
[21:57] <Vhp> I don’t want to have to buy a new bed just for one night of good, fatty sex.
[21:57] <Maera> use her bed, vhp lololololol
[21:57] <Vhp> Sorry, call me superficial, but I don’t find heavy women attractive whatsoever.
[21:57] <Fenster> Yeah, smearing it all over yourself feels <3 <3
[21:57] <Threepercent> Or the floor… Either way, it can be fun..
[21:57] <Maera> fenster, you’re nasty
[21:58] <Fenster> The pot just called the kettle black. <3
[21:58] <Maera> shut up =/
[21:58] <Threepercent> Well, any more questions, before I go back to work?
[21:58] <Threepercent> Bastages, btw.. All of you.. =)
[21:58] <Fenster> KEKEKEKEKE ^_^
[21:59] <Vhp> Uhh
[21:59] <Vhp> What does shit taste like?
[21:59] <Fenster> Poo
[21:59] <Fenster> Duh
[21:59] <Threepercent> Like shit…
[21:59] <Vhp> Is it good?
[21:59] <Threepercent> There is no comparable taste, unless you have eaten gritty mud.. At least that would give you a texture comparison.
[21:59] <Fenster> Well its nutritious and it goes down well with some fresh piss
[21:59] <Threepercent> No
[21:59] <Threepercent> Not good tasting at all.
[22:00] <Vhp> What about piss?
[22:00] <Maera> fenster, you’re weird
[22:00] <Threepercent> Not really good tasting.. I try to avoid it..
[22:00] <Vhp> Which is worse?
[22:00] <Threepercent> Shit
[22:00] <Vhp> What kind of wine would you recommend with shit?
[22:00] <Fenster> Well if you’ve ever been with someone who had a fetish for pissing, you’d know all too well
[22:01] <Threepercent> Hmm, a red wine… More body, and a nice aftertaste, to override the scat.
[22:01] <Vhp> Sick.
[22:01] <Vhp> SICK SICK SICK
[22:01] <Vhp> SIIIIIIIIIIIICK SHIT IS NASTY SICK
[22:01] <Threepercent> you asked.
[22:01] <Fenster> Yeah
[22:02] <Vhp> Yeah, but shit is still nasty.
[22:02] <Threepercent> Yes, it is… In taste at least… It is tolerable, as a smell.
[22:02] <Vhp> Hell no
[22:02] <Maera> maybe it’s because i’m a female but i would never do anything i thought was gross just to get laid
[22:02] <Vhp> Neither would I
[22:02] <Fenster> She was a goth. I was a virgin.
[22:02] <Threepercent> Prolly Maera..
[22:03] <Fenster> Nasty combination.
[22:03] <Vhp> I have no freaky, kinky desires whatsoever.
[22:03] <Fenster> Not even girls with go faster stripes?
[22:03] <Threepercent> She was horny, I was horny… She wanted to smell scat, I wanted to get a nut.. Worked out great
[22:03] <Vhp> No way in hell I’d hit some chick that rolled around in shit
[22:03] <Threepercent> What I really hate, are women with Foot fetishes, who don’t clean their feet.. Now that is nasty..
[22:04] <Vhp> See, I think all fetishes are pretty nasty.
[22:04] <Vhp> What the fuck is wrong with regular sex, just in different positions?
[22:04] <Fenster> Boring.
[22:04] <Threepercent> I’ll suck on a womans toes all night, as long as they are clean..
[22:04] <Vhp> Bullshit, Fenster.
[22:04] <Maera> i would never let any dude around my feet if they were dirty. then i’d have to kiss him…no thanks
[22:04] <Threepercent> Exactly Maera..
[22:04] <Vhp> I’d be happy with regular sex for the rest of my life.
[22:04] <Fenster> You’d be happy just to get sex.
[22:05] <Maera> vhp likes the missionary position
[22:05] <Vhp> None of this shit-eating and foot fondling and bonding and gagging.
[22:05] <Threepercent> And I will be too VHP.. Believe it or not, my wife is pretty tame..
[22:05] <Vhp> No, MA, that’s Unreal.
[22:05] <Threepercent> And I am very happy..
[22:05] <Vhp> With his bed.
[22:05] <Maera> rofl vhp
[22:05] <Maera> his blankie
[22:05] <Fenster> I thought he liked it doggy style with the army recruiter? ?:|
[22:05] <Fenster> lol
[22:05] <Threepercent> Straight Oral, with just a few position changes, and we have a grand ole time
[22:06] <Vhp> Oh, oral is fine too
[22:06] <Vhp> No weird shit though
[22:06] <Threepercent> But doesn’t she sometimes taste a bit like urine? Even a hint?
[22:06] <Maera> lots of guys don’t do oral but you better believe they want it =/
[22:06] <Vhp> I had a dream where I was getting a blowjob last night, but then I realized that’d never happen and that it was a dream, so I was upset.
[22:06] <Threepercent> Not me Maera.. I give as good as I get, even better sometimes..
[22:06] <Fenster> Prawn cocktail=:/
[22:07] <Maera> fenster, you’re awful, i swear
[22:07] <Vhp> Wouldn’t you feel like a real dick if you get off but the chick doesn’t? Ya know, that’s where giving oral comes into play.
[22:07] <Vhp> WHYT AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS
[22:07] *** Vhp was kicked by Vhp (Vhp)
[22:07] *** Joins: Vhp
[22:07] *** ChanServ sets mode: +o Vhp
[22:08] <Threepercent> To answer his question, there have been several times, I have not “gotten off” and she has.. And I am fine with that..
[22:08] <Fenster> Well if she’s clean its fine, but if she’s all gooey, I gag.
[22:08] <Threepercent> Its about pleasure..
[22:08] <Threepercent> Well, I have an hour, I better get busy working…
[22:08] <Fenster> Later Vesper
[22:08] <Threepercent> Later all…
[22:08] *** Quits: Threepercent (Quit: http://cookie.sorcery.net/~ircd_/javachat/)
[22:08] <Maera> bye vesper

 

Hope you weren’t eating when you read that.

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Blogging droughts, GTA giggles, Cup fever, and squeaky kitties

Yes, Jen…it’s been a while.  Call me uninspired, lazy, or just plain apathetic – I just wasn’t “feeling” the whole new entry thing.  Partly because I had nothing really spectacular to post about, and partly because the things that are going on aren’t all that great.

PT’s STILL in the hospital.  It seems that the whole rejection symptoms thing is still around, and things aren’t looking so hot.  They’ve even been talking about yet another transplant, and that news has put PT into a funk.  Can’t say I blame him, honestly.  This is the most grueling thing he’s ever had to go through, and now they’re telling him he might have to go through it all again?  Especially just days after he thought he might get to go home soon?  I can’t even imagine how that feels.  On a more selfish note, it means I’m going to be hanging around Pittsburgh even longer.  To be honest, it’s kinda depressing around here.  I mean, sure the neighborhood is nice – it’s jogging season, and it seems like all the ladies around here believe in staying fit.  I haven’t put a whole lot of effort into the dating thing, though, so it’s just a case of me looking at all the women that I’m not going to talk to anytime soon.  At this point, if she doesn’t land in my lap, I’m not going to worry about it all that much.

Speaking of, Psycho Girl now knows I’m in the area on a more permanent basis than she previously heard.  I saw her from across the street as I was doing a “PT run.”  Those usually involve getting him his daily supplies for my visits – a paper, Mt. Dew, water, and possibly soup from the nearby restaurant.  She was walkling with her boy toy and when she saw me, she told him to walk into the bar without her.  She then blindly walked into the street, amazingly missed getting run over, and came over to say hi.  We talked for a bit, and she let me know that anytime I feel bored, I should knock on her door.  I’m not sure it occurred to her that she should get my cell number, and I didn’t feel like providing it.  Half of me would feel bad about her boyfriend to do so, half of me is uninspired to put any effort into this at all, and half of me remembers that I don’t hate my penis, and staying in her bed will eventually end with her stabbing me in my sleep. (I know that equals to 1.5 of me, but I believe in thinking things through thoroughly) Still, it’s been boring lately and hanging out with her would definitely lead to a few new stories.  I said something non-binding, and told her I’d talk to her later.  As it’s a friday night and I’m here updating the blog and eating Cup O’ Noodles, I have yet to do so. 

Every now and then, I come home for the weekend, which is always nice.  Tommy is still around, and while he’s learned to stay away from the strippers, he still can’t cook worth a damn.  He offered to make dinner, but fucked it up.  The dish?  Hamburger Helper.  Now, even if you possess no culinary skillz at all, cooking a meal like this isn’t too hard.  You just have to be able to read and count.  Tommy is batting about .500 when it comes to these meals, though.  Sometimes he gets it right, sometimes not.  I discovered exactly what went wrong a while back and I guess the same thing happened the last time around.  The directions call for 2 cups of water and about a cup of milk or so for some of the variations of HH.  Tommy asked me once during the process “which the thing use for the (garbled)?” It took me a bit, but I figured out that he was asking if I use the milk OR the water.  I calmly explained that it wasn’t optional – BOTH were required.  I n tell when he forgets this, though.  As I got a plate, he said something about how the noodles weren’t quite right.  As I crunched a few of them down, I knew that maybe if they actually had enough liquid to rest in, they’d be a little more tender.

Even with the Tommy drawbacks, I still enjoy being back in my hometown.  Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing here, since nowadays I really only drop stuff off for PT, then sit around and wonder if he actually wants me to be there.  That, and I have to make sure then annoying bitch in his apartment doesn’t die. That’s his cat, Midori.  It just sits there and screaches, and I’m starting to think I may be allergic to her, since she makes me itch when she stays near my exposed skin.  So far she’s still alive, but she’s asking for it. 

I guess another thing I try to do is keep his place in livable shape.  Since it’s just me, I tend to let things go a bit.  I have a new clean-up method, inspired by a fun party game.  I don’t enjoy taking out the garbage, as I have to haul the bag down 3 floors and toss it in the dumpster.  Sure, there’s an elevator, but that’s beside the point.  Now I just keep placing empty boxes, wrappers, or whatever on top of the garbage can until it’s a big, swaying tower.  When it finally topples, I scream, “JENGA!” and bag up the trash to take it down.  This adds an element of skill and excitement to daily cleaning, although it probably isn’t for everyone.

I had an ex of mine call me up the other day.  While it’s true that some probably don’t care if I live or die (the feeling’s usually mutual), I do tend to stay at least cordial with some.  The conversation went as it usually goes – some small talk, me listening to her inhale cigarettes…and then she said:

“Oh, um, anyhow – I just wanted to let you know that you might not be hearing from me for a while.”

“Ok…how come?”

“I can’t really say.”

“…”

“Yeah, it’s um..it’s not something I can really talk about, you know?  Let’s just say that someone in my family got into some trouble.”

“Ok…who?”

“Let’s just say it was an immediate family member.  I can’t say a whole lot about it, though.”

I eventually found out it was her brother, although she refused to verbally confirm this with actual words.  She then said:

“Just take my advice – get out while you still can.”

“”Out of where?”

“The country.  Homeland security is some scary shit.”

“O…k…um…”

“And also – be very careful about what you look at on your computer.  Let’s just leave it at that.”

By this point, I’m feeling a bit weirded out.  She then informed me that she had to go, and she didn’t know when she’d talk to me again.  She mused out loud whether or not she’d move to Canada or maybe go live with some extended family in Spain.  I have yet to hear from her again, and this conversation is still as strange to me now as it was then.

In other news, I’ve been having fun on the PS3.  I’ve been playing Grand Theft Auto 4, and giggling like a school girl all the while.  The city is huge, and your character can walk around and do a ton of things.  My fun is in being an asshole – go figure, right?   There’s just something satisfying about walking past a pedestrian, knocking their coffee mug out of their hands, watching them walk off and bitch about you, then picking the mug up and chucking it at the back of their head, and then kicking them when they fall down.  Things I’ve learned while playing GTA:

- Pedestrians bounce off of a lot of cars, but an ambulance makes the best battering ram.

- Just like in real life, jumping on the stage to “get your swerve on” with strippers will get your ass beat down by bouncers

- Just like in real life, the people you meet while online dating confirm exactly why they resort to dating online

All in all, it’s a lot of fun and I enjoy just running around the city, shooting a cop in the crotch, then running off in his car while he hobbles after me and radios in his buddies for help.  I’ve also picked up NHL 2008, and am finally getting the hang of it.  Speaking of hockey…

THE PENS ARE GOING TO THE STANLEY CUP FINALS!

Words seriously can’t express how excited I am for this…I get shivers just thinking that the Cup will be 4 wins away.  The last time they won, I was 15 or so, and I didn’t really appreciate just how special the Penguin team was back then.  Since then, it’s been a LONG time since they’ve been this close and good enough to possibly win it all.  I’ve of course been doing everything on my end to ensure playoff wins.  For the first 3 rounds, I started a playoff beard.  It got too scratchy for me to keep for more than a round at a time, so I soon adopted the policy of shaving it as soon as the Pens lost a game.  Since they swept Ottawa, I had to change that to being able to shave after a series win.  I kept that going until it was damn near unbearable during the Philly series.  I kept it going, though, and was amazed to see the Penguins down 3 or 4 goals in game 4, after winning the first 3 games.  I then realized that maybe just assuming the Pens would win (and thereby allowing me to dream about shaving) somehow jinxed the team.  I then decided that since keeping it wasn’t working anyhow, I may as well shave during the intermission.  I came back for the 3rd and saw the Pens score 2 goals and begin to mount a comeback.  I then knew my face was the most important factor in the playoffs and now the plan is to shave right before the game.  Hey – I do whatever it takes, you know? 

I’ve also learned from last year not to make any assumptions or predictions on my team’s success.  I got cocky last year and it bit me, so I have yet to do anything but let the Penguin play talk all the smack on it’s own.  I will say, though, that with as excited I am about their success so far, I’m going to be a sullen, depressed mofo if they end up losing to Detroit.  Here’s my favorite Pens fight song at the moment( the creator of the vid has a huge man-crush on Roberts, but can you blame him?):

I’ll end this entry for now – I got inspired to use my scanner the other day and scanned a few things from my past – most of them high school (and earlier) pics, as well as a few other items.  I’ll post them here in an upcoming entry just for kicks.  Maybe if I get *two* people that read this blog and request it in the comments section, I’ll do so.  Im fairly sure Jen will be one of them as I’ve gotten a few *nudges* to update this puppy, but hopefully someone else will chime in before I do so.  I’m needy.

 

To close, here’s one of the most random things I’ve ever seen:

 

 

The awesomeness starts about 22 seconds in.  Enjoy…