My grandmother had Paul when she was 45, and my mother had me when she was just 21. As a result, there was only a 9 year age difference between Paul and I. I grew up with him for much of my life, and he ended up being more like an older brother to me than an uncle. I, in turn, annoyed him much like a younger brother should.
Later on in life, I stopped taking for granted the type of person he was, and started spending more and more time with him. Not only did I look to him as a brother, but he became a good friend, as well. I’d like to tell a story that I think captures Paul’s regard for others:
About 10 years ago, or so, Paul, my friend Jeremy Parker and I went down to a place in Pittsburgh called Market Square. In the summer, the city would block off the square and bring in a band. It was a large, outdoor block party with music, college-aged people, and alcohol. Obviously, that type of atmosphere can sometimes cause friction, and it just so happened that a fight broke out amongst 2 twenty-something guys just a few feet away. My friend and I, along with almost everyone else, turned to watch. All of a sudden, someone waded through the crowd towards the 2 guys fighting – It was Paul. He reached the 2 men, grabbed one from behind, spun him around, and held the other one back with an outstretched arm. While holding the one guy back, he whispered something into his ear, and then let him go. The guy looked at him for a bit with a measuring gaze, then wandered off.
Needless to say, I was amazed. When I got back to Paul’s side, I asked, “What exactly did you say to that guy?!?” He just told me that he said, “I told him, ‘you don’t want to do this’ and ‘Pittsburgh cops are near and aren’t to be messed with.’”
It took me a long time before realized the significance of that moment. In fact, I don’t think it occurred to me until just a couple days ago as I was recalling this story. Why would someone risk harm just to help two random strangers? What would cause someone to stop a conflict that had no bearing on themselves, while risking themself in the process?
It really just goes to show the strength of Paul’s care for others, as well as his generosity. Paul was always generous, even almost to a fault. Even towards the end of Paul’s life, he was still worried and concerned for others. I had injured my knee earlier in the year, and even with everything going wrong medically for Paul, he still took time to ask how my knee was feeling.
Looking back, I honestly can’t think of one person who got to know Paul that wasn’t changed for the better. No matter what he was to you: brother, cousin, uncle, or friend…I know you feel the same way, too. Thank you.
August 1, 2008 at 11:54 am |
sorry i wasn’t there for the service. looking back, i realize i could have made better decisions and arrangements for travel. i suppose i was caught up in details. ah, priorities and hindsight. i realize there’s no do-over, but i would rather have done it right.
August 1, 2008 at 3:36 pm |
No problem – it’s not like you had a lot of time to plan it all out. By the way – I forgot to tell you that I received your other care package…I still haven’t watched it, yet. I’ll be grabbing the popcorn and checking it out soon, though.